Can't Buy Me Love

Can’t Buy Me Love
Oh oh oh! This is the movie that started it all! McDreamy at his best! Everyone’s been copying this teen out line since, but here we are at the one that taught us all those valuable life lessons: Borrowing ‘Moms’ clothes will always lead to disaster (or as in my case, borrowing Dad’s vest – what?! Vests were popular in the 90s – will lead to him taking all of your clothes out of your room leaving you with only what is on the floor to wear for an entire month), It doesn’t matter how hot you are no one wants to hear your poetry, If you do a weird tribal dance with confidence everyone will like you and join in, If you finally stand up for the nerds you will earn a slow clap, You can go from totally geek to totally chic with hair gel and ripping your clothes, and of course: You can buy your popularity but not love. Despite the fact that watching 80’s movies right now makes me feel a little like I never lived up to my own potential (yes, I’m feeling that “I’m old and I never did anything with my life” depression again), this movie can bring me nothing but joy joy joy! So lets check it off shall we?
• Giddy: Hell yes! We have several dance scenes, the geeks vs. the cools, emotional outbursts on top of lawn mowers and slow claps!
• Lie: Ohhh yes! Its supposed to be their lil secret that he pays her 1,000 bucks just to pretend to go out with him so he can become popular. But oh how she spills the beans!
• Big Emotional Outburst: Is there any other way than on a lawn mower?
• Wedding: No but that’s okay, just looking at the suede white suit she and her mother fight over, I’m guessing that it would be so full of tacky 80’s garb, I might fight down vomit.
• Dance Sequence: I think we have 3! If you count the white girl “cheering” in the beginning, which is nothing short of bad jazz-pre-stripper routine.
• Rewatchable: Yes! Oh hell yes! So glad to finally own this one!
• Love: I think Ronald sums it up best in his speech to the jock who is about to pummel his friend. And he gets the slow clap for such a wonderful performance (sigh, I never got the slow clap, Oh wait, no I think I did but it was for something drunk and stupid I did at a party and it was more out of a way to make fun of me and not to encourage me onward – jokes on them though – I’ve been drunk and stupid many many times since!).
• Fantasy: I think this is actually closer to reality than you think. I think popularity only takes money, always has and always will (I saw that there is a company now out there who will take your money, put you in places near stars and get you your own paparazzi thus enabling you to be talked about and made famous- for a fee of course. I think my fee to get me famous would have to be a lot larger than some young 100 pound beauty). But we are transported back to the golden age of 80s and highschool and thus there is a lovely scent of nostalgia (and the pungent smell of regret) in the air.
• Journey of the main character: Again, see Ronald’s slow clap moment.
• Body Count: none
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Oh we have a few golden oldies
• Strong Female: Not really no. If finally going for a ride on the boy’s lawnmower is redemption enough for ya, maybe but for me, nope this girl ends up arm candy to somebody else who can support her shopping habit.