Eat Pray Love

So, it begins again, another great gift of 24 mystery movies for me to talk about on this blog. And we start this gift package off with none other than Eat Pray Love. Sigh. My heart is a little sad having to talk about this movie. It’s all so complicated for me. The book, I read (as I think most women do and why we love it so fiercely) during a huge identity crisis time in my life and troubles in my marriage. It helped me in countless ways, mainly because here was a woman I completely identified with who was getting not only the luxury of wallowing in her emotional needs, getting to rediscover herself, rediscover her passion, but also do it in a way I can’t even fathom how I’d ever afford to: in 3 countries for a year. So she gets to live the life I want but I get to read the book and end with a calmer awareness of myself. And I love this book! I recommend it to every woman I know who is going through that crisis (which typically seems to be in the 30s). Now, when I heard the movie was going to be made, I thought: How? How can you show this in film? And then I heard Julia Roberts was attached to it and I sighed and said, ah you are not making this book into a movie, you are making a romantic movie that Julia can be in and your going to vaguely hit on points from the book. As they did.
Now lets talk about the heartbreak… I used to love Julia Roberts (I love all her rom coms- they make me smile down to my liver). But this past year (which has been a very hard struggle for me and it is my sincere hope that next year I get a little of my sparkle, hope and joy back, among other hopes of.. you know success and money and such), while working as the-lowest-of-low-on-the-totem-pole-of-films: an extra, I had many opportunities to sit around with fellow dirt-levels and we would talk about the stars we’ve been around. These conversations inevitably led to who was a jerk to work with(Walberg) and who was surprisingly sweet (Gandolfini). And time and again, I heard horror stories about what a bitch, what a diva, what a nightmare Julia Roberts was. I didn’t want to believe it, America’s Sweetheart? Surely she is nice, that’s how I can believe she is in all those movies. But no, I heard a story about how she so diminished a young actress playing a stewardess who messed up one line that the girl up and quit acting, it ruined her to be so humiliated by the wrath of Roberts on the set. Well, I must admit, this has affected my ability to watch her. I just have so little room in my heart for those who look down on others, those who can be so cruel.
So I went in to seeing Eat Pray love with those 2 very large marks against it: my once idol was a bitch and they aren’t going to be able to really make this book into a movie. And so this movie, which I should have wanted to love, I only walk away with a meh. Julia seemed cold to me. She has lines in the movie (because the character in the book is actually this way) that she says she’s a Suzy Cream Cheese, a happy talkative person and I don’t believe that for a moment from Julia. I don’t really see the complicated journey to loving herself and loving the whole world too in her. And she also talks about her “muffin top” and has an entire scene where they try and close jeans on her and um… seriously she has NEVER had a muffin top! Arg! So with all that said, lets check Eat Pray Love off of my list, shall we?
• Giddy: Well there are moments when they quote the book like: You select your thoughts like you select your clothes in the morning, and Look through your heart and not your head but the parts that usually get me giddy (the love scenes) don’t really do it for me here.
• Lie: This is a book/movie about facing your truth. So no.
• Big Emotional Outburst: We have a typical Roberts blow up scene on the beach of Bali. And of course there is the one at the very beginning of the movie… the one that scares the shit out of me quite frankly. The scene where she goes to pray about her unhappiness and decides she doesn’t want to be married anymore. I think I’m more re-living my own fears and bad moments then empathizing with Julia here though (but unlike Julia’s character, I came out of that situation realizing it was better to work on the love I have than throw it away and start over- but I still tear up every time I hear that line: The only thing more impossible than staying was leaving). Also… my god can we please praise once again an amazing performance from Richard Jenkins- his scene where he describes why he is at this ashram in India is heart wrenching!
• Wedding: Why yes there are 2! An Indian wedding (so beautiful despite the fact that its so sad) and flash backs of her own.
• Dance Sequence: In the flash backs of her own there is a lovely scene where Billy Crudup (another supposed jerk in real life) dances around Julia
• Rewatchable: I have to admit, this movie does the opposite for me of what is its intentions: to lift you up so… well yes when I’m feeling doomed (which is often lately).
• Love: This is supposed to be as I said before the learning to love yourself and then love others, but I had a hard time buying it from Julia. There is also the love with Javier Bardem, which is sweet and that perfect rom-com hate em first then love him. Honestly I must give the film credit here, I thought they’d skip right over Italy and India and focus mostly on the Javier affair but they did a good job of keeping them all balanced and showing us that love is not in one form – it is not just romantic but the love of friends, of strangers, of places and passions.
• Fantasy: A writer takes a year off of life and travels to 3 exotic places to discover herself. It’s my number 1 fantasy!
• Journey of the Main Character: Read the book, her journey is amazing!
• Body Count: none
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Its got some good songs
• Strong Female: Again… read the book.


Side note: It's driving me bonkers that I can't lay out this blog by title and that it only lays it out by date. If anyone knows how to change it so I can lay this blog out by title instead of date can you email me at jennremke@gmail.com ? Love to you all!

Assassin In Love

What a crazy year! But currently I have a job at home and from the miracle of Wii netflix I get to expand my rom-com watching. And recently, I got to see this sweet little film: Assassin in Love. And I just had to add it to my lil blog.

“Professional hit man Milo (Damian Lewis) flees the city after failing to carry out a contract, and gets mistaken for a baker while hiding out in the country. But just as Milo begins to embrace his leisurely new lifestyle and strike up a romance with local veterinarian Rhiannon (Kate Ashfield), his secret gets out, and the locals start asking for much more than specialty cakes”- says the netflix description.

Adorable film with great odd side characters! And of course, we have deaths! Now, granted, Milo is cute, but with those lips, I’m not quite convinced he’s straight (though my last production: Macbeth, the director had similar poofy lips and he turned out to be “straight” so who knows anymore) and I definitely don’t buy him as a cold blooded killer but never the less, he charms me anyway and this one will now be added to my ongoing list of films I can’t stop watching. And here is how it checks off my list:

• Giddy: Assassins gets me giddy all on its own! But we also have a hysterical and really odd love making scene with every ingredient in the kitchen.
• Lie: Milo is a trained assassin, hiding out in a small town pretending to be a baker.
• Big Emotional Outburst: This comes from a few of the side characters.
• Wedding: Yes at the end and it is beautiful!
• Dance Sequence: Non. However we have a group song, this should maybe go in my music category but it gave me the same thrill a group dance does.
• Rewatchable: So now that I am working from home (I’m uploading baby pictures and sending them to parents – which is one of the greatest jobs I’ve ever had, finally affording me the freedom to audition, and to watch in the background all the rom-coms I want, the only downsides being that I actually can’t seem to get that many auditions- damn this town is hard to break through to, and I’ve got a massive ticking clock and seeing cute babies all day long does not really help this) I’m really putting this category to the test. I saw this movie 3 times so far. There are so many great side characters, and that British wit creeps up on you.
• Love: As I said, I’m not sure I buy that this guy is straight (maybe I just don’t trust guys with blue eyes) but the sex is hot and I really feel that like me, Milo falls in love with this quirky town. Living in a city that I don’t love and dealing with the struggles of no longer having the comfort of a core group of people who “get you” and “love you anyway” (well that’s not exactly true, I have some wonderful friends here – its just they are very spread out in this big big city and the trials I face trying to live here and make it here overshadow these good people), I understand what its like to fall in love with a place, a town, loving it for its flaws, its beauty and all the people that inhabit it.
• Fantasy: This town! Oh these charming people!
• Journey of the Main Character: Milo moves to this small town to hide out but ends up wanting to stay and give up his evil ways of killing people quickly with guns an opt for the killing them slowly with baked goods. We’ve all been there right?
• Body Count: 3!! Not counting the Ram’s head!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Okay maybe some of these songs are a bit overdone, maybe we’ve all heard them before in a bunch of other rom-coms but I really love them. They make me happy!
• Strong Female: The Vet is a nice tough gal all on her own (or maybe its just her short hair- as all my girlfriends with short hair have proved- the shorter the hair, the tougher the gal- which really says a lot about me I guess- since… well mine is extremely long – but this is no surprise to you dear reader who know I only play tough on stage and am such a sap in real life).

So what a crazy year, I quit a job where my boss screamed, I got a great job that I quit for a dream of making kick ass money in fit modeling, got fired from fit modeling for not being “modely” enough, and fell into this current job where I upload baby pics, which doesn’t pay the bills enough so I have to do a lot of extra work on the movies and tv shows being shot around town (and extra work is by far the most brutal for us non union folks). I’ve only been in one play but it was a great role: Lady Macbeth! But art wise… I’m still on the losing end. I have no idea where I’m going, what is coming next, or how I’ll get through it, but I have to admit, just for now… especially after the horrible trials and tribulations of this past year, I’m pretty happy! I’m really quite blessed! I’ve got some great friends here, I’ve got a great job where I get to be at home watching the movies I’d rather be in but alas we can’t have it all, and my husband and I are stronger than ever! So my own little rom com, is having a good music montage moment right now. Happy Holidays and may this next year bring us all many great romantic moments, great success and dreams come true!

Overboard!

Overboard!
In honor of the return of the 80’s in fashion (seriously, I’m dizzy walking the streets of now – I had to actually call my friend and have him remind me which decade I’m in. It’s scary. And you know something- that is still ugly clothing this time around too!) I sat down and watched one of my all time favorites: Overboard! This is a classic! I love this movie on so many levels: it’s a loosely based adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew, it’s got all the good and bad of being rich vs poor and the great divide between the two, it’s a true warning that a woman is a slave in the household unless she is given respect and love, and its got all the great gooey chemistry between this hot Hollywood couple. Here is how the timeless (I used to think this movie was ugly and dirty but through the goggles of nostalgia and brain washing by the fashion industry that 80’s are cool I find it quite glamorous) Overboard checks off my list:

• Giddy: From the first twang of that terrible song during the credits, I’m in heaven! Goldie playing rich-bitch is so cute, then you have great moments like “Fuk her Fuk her” “I don’t think you can say that on television” “No, No, Fuk her means seal in my country” ; and the Katarina and Arturo story, the making love scene; the dirty boys (filthy in mind and in body); “Baby, if you have a baby, you won’t be the baby anymore” (something I am still trying to convince my parents of) and countless other moments
• Lie: Oh heck yeah! A big one! Let’s see here: He gets knocked off her yacht and left unpaid for building a cabinet made of oak so when she turns up in a mental hospital with no memory he fakes being married to her in order to get a SLAVE to cook, clean, and raise his children as payback. Written down it sounds so much more awful then on screen. (But seriously, the hospital considers it proof that they are married because he can describe a strawberry like birth mark on her ass, if its always that simple there are quite a few people who could claim being married to me…)
• Big Emotional Outburst: We have several, cause Goldie is friggin adorable when she’s angry! My favorite though (besides jumping in the water for each other at the end of the movie) is when she tells off that nasty judging teacher.
• Wedding: No but there are faked pictures of the wedding which are HILARIOUS!
• Dance Sequence: Yes Jim Dandy to the Rescue Jim Dandy to the Rescue! (Um Goldie- you look like your having an orgasm on the dance floor).
• Rewatchable: YES YES YES YES YES
• Love: I love this kind of love story! This is the backwards kind- start with work, family, obligations, start at hate and discover respect, admiration, and love.
• Fantasy: At the very end, they all discover that she’s the rich one. Rich enough for friggin servants and a yacht and evening gowns for no good reason at all! The one boy sums it up best “How do you spell Porsche?” This ranks right up there with my lottery fantasy.
• Journey of the Main Character: Oh I actually think Goldie does an amazing job with this character! Here she goes from being a rich-bitch snob who can not have any empathy for someone not rich like her to being battered around as a slave for a sweaty bohunk man to finding virtue in the smaller things in life (like teaching a child to read and cleaning a house) to once again fit back into the world she came from. It’s a really fascinating journey to watch.
• Body Count: Cest la vie: Non!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Ok this music sucks, but true to the 80’s there are lots of great montages. Especially in building the greatest thing Elk Snout has ever seen: A mini put put.
• Strong Female: Yes! Goldie! I love you!

Valentine's Day

I’ve always had a problem with Valentine’s Day. It is an excuse for the lazy to not be romantic all year long until one stinkin’ day. That said, just like my love for Romantic Comedies, I am completely irrational about it and still desire to get something nice on that holiday. So I sat down this weekend, newly inspired by the greatest proposal of all time (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3rlU8bGovU ) to watch Valentine’s Day. I hadn’t rushed out to see this one in the theatres because I am not enthusiastic about this trend in films where you have tons and tons of stars with short interwoven plots that occasionally collide. It feels a bit like ADD and I’m not sure who to give my heart and attention to. There are some great exceptions like Love Actually and He’s Just Not That In To You, but this really didn’t measure up. It actually felt like a knock off version of those two films. Maybe it is just that nothing could possibly put me as over the moon as that You Tube proposal, or maybe it is that Ashton Kutcher just looks like the dumbest puppy dog ever, or maybe it just wasn’t that great...
Maybe it would also help, if I stopped drinking an entire bottle of wine when I sit down to enjoy these movies... I might be able to follow more... just sayin. But we’re not here to talk about my flaws (wait...are we?!)...but here is how Valentine’s Day checked off my list of must have’s:

• Giddy: I’ve noticed a trend here that I’m extremely giddy in the beginning of a movie and as the movie unfolds, I tend to get less so. Quite like most of my past relationships. And like those past relationships, they might not have been good the first time around but nostalgia and a more complicated current reality make me long for the already tried-and-not-really-so-true. So the scenes that could have been heart pumping here might be so in a year but for tonight... not one thing compared to that proposal...
• Lie: There is McDreamy lying to his 2 women, and Jessica Alba lying that she wanted to marry Mr. Puppy dog but not really (and um the director who cast her in the role of powerful go getter woman is lying to himself if he thinks we’re buying Alba in that role) and there’s that guy that looks like he is related to Leonardo DiCaprio who has been lying about being gay... oh there’s lies- lots of em... too many to keep track of!
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh yes, again- in spades and hard to keep track of.
• Wedding: No, but I think if they had tried to squeeze in one more RC stereotype something would have had to explode!
• Dance Sequence: No
• Rewatchable: Ask me next year
• Love: Every kind there is
• Fantasy: I guess its seeing this many hot people. There are lots of hot people in this movie.
• Journey of the Main Character: Which ONE!?
• Body Count: No – and this – they could have used a bit of- so there would be less plots to keep track of!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Actually I liked a few songs on this soundtrack. I will most likely be downloading them soon...
• Strong Female: Um, I think there were a couple- Like Queen Latifah (but when isn’t she?) and Julia Roberts is a soldier... um but again, I didn’t get to have a full 2 hours to judge them, I got maybe 10 minutes of each character so... I can’t really say.

Leap Year

So before I ever got around to watching this movie my whole being was in conflict about seeing it. Yes we have a RC and cute Amy Adams (Enchanted!)and some hot Irish guy...but we also have an insult to strong women that you can only propose to a man on one freakish day every 4 years(I want to start a campaign that women can propose to men - I have written several great commercial specs and designed some great male engagement rings but alas no one is biting...) and the commercials, to be quite honest, looked pretty dumb. And sure enough that conflict was not resolved in the actual watching. Yes there are some very cute moments but the pace is off and the plot in spots is almost too thin, like they were trying too hard to get these two to fall in love. So even though I own it now and it resides with the rest of my porn stash under the bed next to the dark chocolate and good reviews from past shows I was in.... it may stay at the bottom of the box for a while. So lets try to resolve this conflict by checking it off my list shall we?


Giddy: Okay there is the kiss (a very familiar plot device - I kinda liked it better in Addicted to love when Granny tells Meg to kiss Matt - but this one sends significant butterfly flutters into the pelvis area).

Lie: oh there isn't really one

Big Emotional Outburst: A few... but in that cute Amy Adams way where I just want to pinch her cheeks.

Wedding: Yes and another great moment- one of which I could completely relate- Amy is the biggest klutz ever and makes royal mess of this wedding.

Dance Sequence: Yes Irish folk dance and even though the moment getting her onto the floor was really odd, once there, I had fun watching this.

Rewatchable: Hmm...it may take a bit more desperate day than I've been having lately (and that's kind of saying a lot)

Love: You have the I love you enough to propose to keep the apartment love and the you are unbearable and rude but I'm stuck with you and oh look you might actually be more of the Mr./Ms. Right kind.

Fantasy: Ireland. Oh lovely.

Journey of the Main Character: She is on a physical journey to get the man she wants and she sends the cute Irish guy on an emotional journey to find a way to deal with the pain of loosing his girlfriend.

Body Count: none

Music Montages/Soundtrack: nope

Strong Female: Okay see... hrrrmmmm... in some ways she seems like she is going to be (but seriously I'm a sensible shoes kind of girl and am pretty judgemental on what that high of heels in EVERY moment of the day says about your inner strength), she does chase the guy (but she waited around for 4 years - um but then I'm one to talk - but I am not as cute as her and I didn't get many(ANY) offers) and she does walk away from him when she finds out he was only marrying her for the apt., but she's well... wishy washy on most things - even her own proposal to the cute Irish guy. So I give her C - .

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

I adore this movie! And like most people, I can relate. Though, I'm on the quiet white side of things (I can relate alot more to Michael than Nia in this movie: I married into a large Filipino family). What should be the sequel is 2 large outrageous families from different cultures. I wonder what that would be like! (Well as long as Joey Fatone is in it that is, isn't he adorable?)
Another way this movie is way too similar to my own life is that Nia is a bit more on the chunkier side in this film and they never excuse it. She was an instant role model for me, that chunky women can play the romantic lead. I wish I could have such luck! I wish she had stayed the way she was (did anyone see her latest film I Hate Valentine's Day - She looks like in every scene her only subtext is "I wish someone would let me have a burger"). But alas, she lost a ton of weight... and alas, I'm here writing about RC's instead of being in them. Bitter table for one! Okay lets just get right to it shall we:

Giddy: Yes! I love the sweet proposal, the scene where Michael gets baptized and Nia says to her brother "I keep waiting for him to say 'Yeah right your so not worth'" and her brother replies: "Yes you are", and lines like "Did you say I was beautiful" and "I'm a snowbeast".

Lie: Nia is lying to her family to hide her boyfriend.

Big Emotional Outburst: Yes quite a few! I love particularly when the father is yelling at Michael about not asking for his permission to date his daughter and Michael asks if he can and he says "NO". So cute!

Wedding: Yes! Maybe not a fantasy wedding, honestly its up there with maybe one of the more hideous weddings I've seen and I've seen a redneck version of a Renfaire wedding so I know what I'm talking about, but its great! Spitting and all!

Dance Sequence: Yes! Opa! My favorite is with Joey Fatone-he looks so intense I think he might kill her.

Rewatchable: Yes! Again we have another movie my husband just won't sit through with me. Maybe I should start that as a category? The ones I can get others to sit with me through vs. those I have to have closet love for?

Love: This guys joins her religion for her! That is LOVE!

Fantasy: Okay I'm gonna be a bit brutal here, but I'm thinking the fantasy is that family can always be that unconditionally loving

Journey of the Main Character: She had spent the majority of her life being embarrassed by her family but through the love of her man, she learns to love herself and thus learn to love that part of herself.

Body Count: none

Music Montages/Soundtrack: I don't really find the music that memorable but there is a great dating/making out in the car montage that has me contemplating was I just way too easy?

Strong Female: mmm...not really... I mean she does finally take the step to getting classes and changing her life to something better and that takes courage soo... well sort of... she's just not you know "Angelina kickin ass strong".

Practical Magic

So as if its not bad enough I'm such a sucker for Romance, I also am a sucker for all things Magic! No I'm not like a closet wicken(not that there is anything wrong with that) or anything. But I really get drawn into stories that have to do at all with magic. Harry Potter? Yes Please! Witches of Eastwick? Charmed? The Illusionist? The Prestige? Yes Yes Yes Yes! (some of you are shaking your heads in dismay and saying oh god Jenn why? and to that I say I don't know, maybe because I loved a man who was a magician and its stuck... or maybe its because I like the idea of a world where a spell can fix things).
So of course this movie, Practical Magic, is not just ice cream on a hot day but ice cream banana split with cherry on top on a hot day! And I think it is the ONLY movie I can ever think of where the book actually SUCKED and the movie is something so so much better! How the hell did they ever get this movie out of that book? That book was AWFUL!
But I digress...lets get to it shall we?

Giddy: Magic? Curses? The scene where Sandra makes out with Aiden... YES! We have many giddy moments!

Lie: Sandra's lying to herself about her gifts and Nicole is lying about the accidental murder of her boyfriend.

Big Emotional Outburst: Yes - and it takes a COVEN to resolve it!

Wedding: no

Dance Sequence: Put da lime in da coconut... mmmmm margarita dance (I've had a few of those).

Rewatchable: YES! This is one of those movies my husband really doesn't understand how on earth I could watch so much and has to go find something to do when its on. He knows I will not turn it off mid movie and he can't possibly stomach one more viewing of it.

Love: Yes! A spell cast love, a love that breaks the family curse!

Fantasy: Magic! YEAH!

Journey of the Main Character: I love that classic tale of the girl who denies her own gifts because she's seen as not normal but comes to embrace them and learn that self acceptance is far superior to others'.

Body Count: 2! Husband and boyfriend.

Music Montages/Soundtrack: Oh yes! We have several great montages and this soundtrack has a lot of great classics!

Strong Female: Yes each woman (Sandra an Nicole, Dianne and Stockard) has strength, endurance, and MAGIC! Yay! I assume having magical powers has to make you pretty damn strong. I don't have magical powers... and strength is something I struggle to attain everyday.