Overboard!

Overboard!
In honor of the return of the 80’s in fashion (seriously, I’m dizzy walking the streets of now – I had to actually call my friend and have him remind me which decade I’m in. It’s scary. And you know something- that is still ugly clothing this time around too!) I sat down and watched one of my all time favorites: Overboard! This is a classic! I love this movie on so many levels: it’s a loosely based adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew, it’s got all the good and bad of being rich vs poor and the great divide between the two, it’s a true warning that a woman is a slave in the household unless she is given respect and love, and its got all the great gooey chemistry between this hot Hollywood couple. Here is how the timeless (I used to think this movie was ugly and dirty but through the goggles of nostalgia and brain washing by the fashion industry that 80’s are cool I find it quite glamorous) Overboard checks off my list:

• Giddy: From the first twang of that terrible song during the credits, I’m in heaven! Goldie playing rich-bitch is so cute, then you have great moments like “Fuk her Fuk her” “I don’t think you can say that on television” “No, No, Fuk her means seal in my country” ; and the Katarina and Arturo story, the making love scene; the dirty boys (filthy in mind and in body); “Baby, if you have a baby, you won’t be the baby anymore” (something I am still trying to convince my parents of) and countless other moments
• Lie: Oh heck yeah! A big one! Let’s see here: He gets knocked off her yacht and left unpaid for building a cabinet made of oak so when she turns up in a mental hospital with no memory he fakes being married to her in order to get a SLAVE to cook, clean, and raise his children as payback. Written down it sounds so much more awful then on screen. (But seriously, the hospital considers it proof that they are married because he can describe a strawberry like birth mark on her ass, if its always that simple there are quite a few people who could claim being married to me…)
• Big Emotional Outburst: We have several, cause Goldie is friggin adorable when she’s angry! My favorite though (besides jumping in the water for each other at the end of the movie) is when she tells off that nasty judging teacher.
• Wedding: No but there are faked pictures of the wedding which are HILARIOUS!
• Dance Sequence: Yes Jim Dandy to the Rescue Jim Dandy to the Rescue! (Um Goldie- you look like your having an orgasm on the dance floor).
• Rewatchable: YES YES YES YES YES
• Love: I love this kind of love story! This is the backwards kind- start with work, family, obligations, start at hate and discover respect, admiration, and love.
• Fantasy: At the very end, they all discover that she’s the rich one. Rich enough for friggin servants and a yacht and evening gowns for no good reason at all! The one boy sums it up best “How do you spell Porsche?” This ranks right up there with my lottery fantasy.
• Journey of the Main Character: Oh I actually think Goldie does an amazing job with this character! Here she goes from being a rich-bitch snob who can not have any empathy for someone not rich like her to being battered around as a slave for a sweaty bohunk man to finding virtue in the smaller things in life (like teaching a child to read and cleaning a house) to once again fit back into the world she came from. It’s a really fascinating journey to watch.
• Body Count: Cest la vie: Non!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Ok this music sucks, but true to the 80’s there are lots of great montages. Especially in building the greatest thing Elk Snout has ever seen: A mini put put.
• Strong Female: Yes! Goldie! I love you!

Valentine's Day

I’ve always had a problem with Valentine’s Day. It is an excuse for the lazy to not be romantic all year long until one stinkin’ day. That said, just like my love for Romantic Comedies, I am completely irrational about it and still desire to get something nice on that holiday. So I sat down this weekend, newly inspired by the greatest proposal of all time (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3rlU8bGovU ) to watch Valentine’s Day. I hadn’t rushed out to see this one in the theatres because I am not enthusiastic about this trend in films where you have tons and tons of stars with short interwoven plots that occasionally collide. It feels a bit like ADD and I’m not sure who to give my heart and attention to. There are some great exceptions like Love Actually and He’s Just Not That In To You, but this really didn’t measure up. It actually felt like a knock off version of those two films. Maybe it is just that nothing could possibly put me as over the moon as that You Tube proposal, or maybe it is that Ashton Kutcher just looks like the dumbest puppy dog ever, or maybe it just wasn’t that great...
Maybe it would also help, if I stopped drinking an entire bottle of wine when I sit down to enjoy these movies... I might be able to follow more... just sayin. But we’re not here to talk about my flaws (wait...are we?!)...but here is how Valentine’s Day checked off my list of must have’s:

• Giddy: I’ve noticed a trend here that I’m extremely giddy in the beginning of a movie and as the movie unfolds, I tend to get less so. Quite like most of my past relationships. And like those past relationships, they might not have been good the first time around but nostalgia and a more complicated current reality make me long for the already tried-and-not-really-so-true. So the scenes that could have been heart pumping here might be so in a year but for tonight... not one thing compared to that proposal...
• Lie: There is McDreamy lying to his 2 women, and Jessica Alba lying that she wanted to marry Mr. Puppy dog but not really (and um the director who cast her in the role of powerful go getter woman is lying to himself if he thinks we’re buying Alba in that role) and there’s that guy that looks like he is related to Leonardo DiCaprio who has been lying about being gay... oh there’s lies- lots of em... too many to keep track of!
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh yes, again- in spades and hard to keep track of.
• Wedding: No, but I think if they had tried to squeeze in one more RC stereotype something would have had to explode!
• Dance Sequence: No
• Rewatchable: Ask me next year
• Love: Every kind there is
• Fantasy: I guess its seeing this many hot people. There are lots of hot people in this movie.
• Journey of the Main Character: Which ONE!?
• Body Count: No – and this – they could have used a bit of- so there would be less plots to keep track of!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Actually I liked a few songs on this soundtrack. I will most likely be downloading them soon...
• Strong Female: Um, I think there were a couple- Like Queen Latifah (but when isn’t she?) and Julia Roberts is a soldier... um but again, I didn’t get to have a full 2 hours to judge them, I got maybe 10 minutes of each character so... I can’t really say.

Leap Year

So before I ever got around to watching this movie my whole being was in conflict about seeing it. Yes we have a RC and cute Amy Adams (Enchanted!)and some hot Irish guy...but we also have an insult to strong women that you can only propose to a man on one freakish day every 4 years(I want to start a campaign that women can propose to men - I have written several great commercial specs and designed some great male engagement rings but alas no one is biting...) and the commercials, to be quite honest, looked pretty dumb. And sure enough that conflict was not resolved in the actual watching. Yes there are some very cute moments but the pace is off and the plot in spots is almost too thin, like they were trying too hard to get these two to fall in love. So even though I own it now and it resides with the rest of my porn stash under the bed next to the dark chocolate and good reviews from past shows I was in.... it may stay at the bottom of the box for a while. So lets try to resolve this conflict by checking it off my list shall we?


Giddy: Okay there is the kiss (a very familiar plot device - I kinda liked it better in Addicted to love when Granny tells Meg to kiss Matt - but this one sends significant butterfly flutters into the pelvis area).

Lie: oh there isn't really one

Big Emotional Outburst: A few... but in that cute Amy Adams way where I just want to pinch her cheeks.

Wedding: Yes and another great moment- one of which I could completely relate- Amy is the biggest klutz ever and makes royal mess of this wedding.

Dance Sequence: Yes Irish folk dance and even though the moment getting her onto the floor was really odd, once there, I had fun watching this.

Rewatchable: Hmm...it may take a bit more desperate day than I've been having lately (and that's kind of saying a lot)

Love: You have the I love you enough to propose to keep the apartment love and the you are unbearable and rude but I'm stuck with you and oh look you might actually be more of the Mr./Ms. Right kind.

Fantasy: Ireland. Oh lovely.

Journey of the Main Character: She is on a physical journey to get the man she wants and she sends the cute Irish guy on an emotional journey to find a way to deal with the pain of loosing his girlfriend.

Body Count: none

Music Montages/Soundtrack: nope

Strong Female: Okay see... hrrrmmmm... in some ways she seems like she is going to be (but seriously I'm a sensible shoes kind of girl and am pretty judgemental on what that high of heels in EVERY moment of the day says about your inner strength), she does chase the guy (but she waited around for 4 years - um but then I'm one to talk - but I am not as cute as her and I didn't get many(ANY) offers) and she does walk away from him when she finds out he was only marrying her for the apt., but she's well... wishy washy on most things - even her own proposal to the cute Irish guy. So I give her C - .

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

I adore this movie! And like most people, I can relate. Though, I'm on the quiet white side of things (I can relate alot more to Michael than Nia in this movie: I married into a large Filipino family). What should be the sequel is 2 large outrageous families from different cultures. I wonder what that would be like! (Well as long as Joey Fatone is in it that is, isn't he adorable?)
Another way this movie is way too similar to my own life is that Nia is a bit more on the chunkier side in this film and they never excuse it. She was an instant role model for me, that chunky women can play the romantic lead. I wish I could have such luck! I wish she had stayed the way she was (did anyone see her latest film I Hate Valentine's Day - She looks like in every scene her only subtext is "I wish someone would let me have a burger"). But alas, she lost a ton of weight... and alas, I'm here writing about RC's instead of being in them. Bitter table for one! Okay lets just get right to it shall we:

Giddy: Yes! I love the sweet proposal, the scene where Michael gets baptized and Nia says to her brother "I keep waiting for him to say 'Yeah right your so not worth'" and her brother replies: "Yes you are", and lines like "Did you say I was beautiful" and "I'm a snowbeast".

Lie: Nia is lying to her family to hide her boyfriend.

Big Emotional Outburst: Yes quite a few! I love particularly when the father is yelling at Michael about not asking for his permission to date his daughter and Michael asks if he can and he says "NO". So cute!

Wedding: Yes! Maybe not a fantasy wedding, honestly its up there with maybe one of the more hideous weddings I've seen and I've seen a redneck version of a Renfaire wedding so I know what I'm talking about, but its great! Spitting and all!

Dance Sequence: Yes! Opa! My favorite is with Joey Fatone-he looks so intense I think he might kill her.

Rewatchable: Yes! Again we have another movie my husband just won't sit through with me. Maybe I should start that as a category? The ones I can get others to sit with me through vs. those I have to have closet love for?

Love: This guys joins her religion for her! That is LOVE!

Fantasy: Okay I'm gonna be a bit brutal here, but I'm thinking the fantasy is that family can always be that unconditionally loving

Journey of the Main Character: She had spent the majority of her life being embarrassed by her family but through the love of her man, she learns to love herself and thus learn to love that part of herself.

Body Count: none

Music Montages/Soundtrack: I don't really find the music that memorable but there is a great dating/making out in the car montage that has me contemplating was I just way too easy?

Strong Female: mmm...not really... I mean she does finally take the step to getting classes and changing her life to something better and that takes courage soo... well sort of... she's just not you know "Angelina kickin ass strong".

Practical Magic

So as if its not bad enough I'm such a sucker for Romance, I also am a sucker for all things Magic! No I'm not like a closet wicken(not that there is anything wrong with that) or anything. But I really get drawn into stories that have to do at all with magic. Harry Potter? Yes Please! Witches of Eastwick? Charmed? The Illusionist? The Prestige? Yes Yes Yes Yes! (some of you are shaking your heads in dismay and saying oh god Jenn why? and to that I say I don't know, maybe because I loved a man who was a magician and its stuck... or maybe its because I like the idea of a world where a spell can fix things).
So of course this movie, Practical Magic, is not just ice cream on a hot day but ice cream banana split with cherry on top on a hot day! And I think it is the ONLY movie I can ever think of where the book actually SUCKED and the movie is something so so much better! How the hell did they ever get this movie out of that book? That book was AWFUL!
But I digress...lets get to it shall we?

Giddy: Magic? Curses? The scene where Sandra makes out with Aiden... YES! We have many giddy moments!

Lie: Sandra's lying to herself about her gifts and Nicole is lying about the accidental murder of her boyfriend.

Big Emotional Outburst: Yes - and it takes a COVEN to resolve it!

Wedding: no

Dance Sequence: Put da lime in da coconut... mmmmm margarita dance (I've had a few of those).

Rewatchable: YES! This is one of those movies my husband really doesn't understand how on earth I could watch so much and has to go find something to do when its on. He knows I will not turn it off mid movie and he can't possibly stomach one more viewing of it.

Love: Yes! A spell cast love, a love that breaks the family curse!

Fantasy: Magic! YEAH!

Journey of the Main Character: I love that classic tale of the girl who denies her own gifts because she's seen as not normal but comes to embrace them and learn that self acceptance is far superior to others'.

Body Count: 2! Husband and boyfriend.

Music Montages/Soundtrack: Oh yes! We have several great montages and this soundtrack has a lot of great classics!

Strong Female: Yes each woman (Sandra an Nicole, Dianne and Stockard) has strength, endurance, and MAGIC! Yay! I assume having magical powers has to make you pretty damn strong. I don't have magical powers... and strength is something I struggle to attain everyday.

The Princess Bride

Blog about the greatest Romantic Comedy of all time? As You Wish!
I would like to mention that the day came when I realized I'm old and that there might actually be people in this world who have not seen this movie. I actually worked with a couple on one of my last jobs and it broke my heart! This is the greatest film of all time. It has everything (well except a lot of females to emulate but we'll get to that later). It should be mandatory in school or something. You know those dumb surveys where they ask if there is only one thing you can bring on an island with you... this is the thing I bring!
However, small sad note, I never realized before that Wesley has a cheezy mustache in this movie. Uck... I usually find almost every man with a moustache to be a child molester (or at least look like one). But I guess I will forgive him.. cause.. well.. he's my childhood fantasy of the perfect man and I'll just have to! Also, its always bugged me, what were the 5 most romantic kisses of all time? I often wanted to have one (I think I did once, in the 42nd street subway station, where time stood still and moved in slow motion around us... but I digress). I have 5 copies of this book (given to me by past loves) and I've read it cover to cover trying to have that answered for me. But it makes a great party game question I guess...so again.. forgiven!
But back to the greatest movie of all time... Oh lets just get right to the check list shall we?

Giddy: From the first cough of the young Fred Savage, I'm in heaven. We have some of the best lines ever written like: "I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using", "Inconceivable", "As you wish", "Move?: Your alive, if you want I can fly", "I don't accept excuses, I'll just have to get myself a new Giant" and many many more!

Lie: The prince is lying to Buttercup the whole darn time! Boo! Boo!

Big Emotional Outburst: A couple small ones...but my favorite is "Hello, My name is Inigo Montoya, You killed my father, prepare to die" (of which I have a great tshirt)

Wedding: Yes! Maaawwwaaaaggeee is wwwwwhhhat bwwwwinnggs us togevah twoday

Dance Sequence: no, but i forgive you!

Rewatchable: I know every line of this movie. And its perfect for every occasion! Its perfect for the Saturday afternoon chore day and its perfect for the date night and its perfect for the getting stoned night (which you may not be able to get through the death of Vizzini without tiring yourself out from laughing so hard)and also perfect for slow days at work.

Love: TRUE LOVE!

Fantasy: True Love (which I have to admit, I went searching for way too long because of this film)! The fantasy of true love alone is pretty darn good, but then you also have storybook fairytale with princes and princess and pirates and sword fights. Mmmm. Lovely!

Journey of the Main Character: Wesley fights everything, even death, to get back to her. Oh also, Fred Savage learns to love books read by his Grandpa.

Body Count: 8 I think: Vizzini, Wesley, The Albino, 4 soldiers and Tyrone :)

Music Montages/Soundtrack: I love this soundtrack. I get weepy every time I hear Storybook Love, I know, I know, its not like it has a bunch of hummable tunes, but it reminds me of this movie, and my heart swells!

Strong Female: Okay, here's the downside... there are only 2 women in this movie. One is a witch ("I'm not a witch I'm your wife") and the other is Buttercup. And for all her beauty, for all her wit and charm, she's just a pretty female that has to be rescued. When I was a little girl, I never cared. Most girls don't. The fairy tales we have grown up listening to were all this way and thus feminism for me was delayed a few years I believe because I didn't grow up necessarily having those great women role models. Well... now I'm stretching it aren't I? Because there were Romantic Comedies like His Girl Friday and anything with Kate Hepburn in it to look up to. But you get my gist right? One of the reasons I am in love with this genre of movie is because, typically, its one of the only genres where women are strong, are role models. And so, even my childhood favorites must be called out, when they do not bring the role models!
But I still love you Princess Bride! I still love you!

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Okay, technically this isn't a RC. It falls under action/adventure. Proof is in my body count, where I lost count of the dead at 19 and we were only half way through the movie... but... a)lets not forget that it was this movie that broke up the Bennifer and started the Branjolina and it shows cause the chemistry is off the charts in this movie between the two hottest people in Hollywood (who can I just once again gripe about how unfair it is that these two superpowers procreated? What happens to us ugly mortals when the Gods team up? More crap work and groveling that's what!)and b)I laughed a LOT! And as I stated earlier: laughter and love are the key ingredients so with that in mind lets see how this action/adventure Mr. and Mrs. Smith checks off Jenn's list of RC's:

Giddy: Oh yes, but in a "it tingles down there" kind of giddy. This movie is SEXY!! We have 2 dance scenes, the most violent make up sex scene I've ever witnessed and some great funny moments from Mr. Vahn too.

Lie: Mr. and Mrs. Smith have been lying to each other from day 1 pretending to be something they are not while they are both killers.

Big Emotional Outburst: Oh yes in the form of guns and beating the crap out of each other.

Wedding: There is video footage of their wedding... its small but I must count it

Dance Sequence: Yes 2!!!!

Rewatchable: Well yes, yes I think I will

Love: This is that almost competitive kind of love, the kind where they may have to concede at some point that one or the other is slightly better at one aspect of their job but they make an unstoppable team when together.

Fantasy: The fantasy is Brad and Angelina ... either one... together... blowing stuff up... as sexy as they can... mmmmmm

Journey of the Main Character: I think both of them have to learn that the other has some talents they wish they had and learn to fight for their marriage.

Body Count: As I stated previously... I stopped counting at 19! My god, I really don't think horror films ever have as high of body counts as Action movies do... then again- a lot are just getting shot... as we have learned from before being shot does not necessarily mean dead...

Music Montages/Soundtrack: Not that notable to me

Strong Female: I would like to praise Miss Jolie right now...okay she has her flaws and she's a bit weird but no woman has ever held the high honor of Action Hero like her before. She plays strong, sexy, with a hint of vulnerability and I wish so badly I could be her or do her. She plays that perfect strong female here in this movie and I don't even mind (staunch feminist that I am) that she "took his last name" because she breaks every other stereotype of women in two in this film.