The Holiday

Holiday
So this isn’t a great movie, it might have been better with some different casting choices (I’m not sure I can believe Ms. Diaz as an all work no play kind of gal and Jack Black?! Really?!What is it with Hollywood and being fine with men being ugly or dumpy as long their funny but no way no how can that be the case with women) or perhaps even split up the two stories into two different movies but… well it’s got some good points (Jude Law and Kate Winslet) so… away we go:

• Giddy: Really, the pickings are a bit slim here but Jude Law pretty much anytime gets me giddy.
• Lie: There aren’t any major ones going on, nope.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Well of course we got 2 ladies heartbroken and taking off to different countries to break away from it so there are outburst to be had, but the one I believe usually comes at the end of the movie, the big emotional “I love you” didn’t really go down that path.
• Wedding: nope
• Dance Sequence: We have several! We have both of the girls doing their own little dances (I dance that goofy too all the time alone) and we have a finale dance with the loves and kids.
• Rewatchable: meh
• Love: We have all kinds, the unrequited, the unemotional, the unavailable, the “we’re just friends but you might be good for me”, and the “I refuse to fall in love with you but can’t help myself”
• Fantasy: I’d love to jet off to England after a heart break, I’d love to have half as much money as Ms. Diaz has in this movie.
• Journey of the main character: Each girl goes off to get away from heartbreak and discovers all new love. But my favorite line in the movie sums it up for us all: Your Leading Lady material, why are you behaving like the best friend”
• Body Count: nada damn!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Holiday songs are always a hit (until you’re listening to them for the millionth time because the damn radio started playing them Nov. 1st) But I do love Jack Blacks line to Kate when he says “If you were a melody this is what you’d be” he plays a sweet sad melody and then says “I used only the good notes”.
• Strong Female: Well I think if we had seen this done as intended by the writers, we would have seen one woman (Ms. Diaz) who is seemingly strong and got it all, money, career, nice house but learns to let it down a little and warm up to love and the other (Ms. Winslet) who is run over by every person because she allows them to, learns to stand up for herself and demand the treatment and love she deserves. But… alas… we don’t really see that.

Say Anything

Say Anything

Ah, yes, the classic! I haven’t seen this movie in a long time, and I think age has improved this movie. Everyone is so much cuter, their dialogue so much more adolescent and adorable. Well…the only downside is that well… Ione Sky is really not a great actress, sigh.
So lets get right to it shall we?

• Giddy: Kissing in the rain, having sex in the backseat of the car (hey it’s how I was conceived), the 65 Joe songs, THE BOOMBOX (seriously who can not be giddy during that scene?!), “I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen”
• Lie: The Dad’s been stealing from the old people (bad Daddy, bad!)
• Big Emotional Outburst: Does the boombox count? It does to me!
• Wedding: Um no
• Dance Sequence: Not really, breaking pure 80s tradition, there is a wild party with an over the top Piven that might count?
• Rewatchable: Um YES!
• Love: I actually think this relationship won’t work in long term but first love, ah first love! So very sweet!
• Fantasy: I think we all fantasize about being loved that hard, that passionately.
• Journey of the main character: Well Ms. Sky really doesn’t do a great job of it, but it’s the journey of a girl who has worked so hard and finally getting to enjoy herself a little.
• Body Count: Um none
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Isn’t this one of the greatest? In your eyes! I get weak in my knees!
• Strong Female: ‘Diane Court’ starts out strong, extra credit classes, working jobs, volunteering, a real go-getter, but everything is to please her Dad and once her Dad comes off the pedestal she links herself with ‘Lloyde Dobler’ as her new crutch. I foresee a long future of going from man to man until someday in her late 30s she wakes up and realizes it should be about herself and not the men in her life…

Moonstruck, Killers, She's out of my League

Happy New Year! So, I’ve watched a ton of movies as we dragged ourselves into this new year (needing to escape is um… at its highest). My god, lets really hope this next year brings us all so much more happiness and so much more success than this past year. For me and many of my dear friends 2010 was extremely rough. I didn’t get anywhere near my resolution to be in a romantic comedy instead of just watching them. Ah well, here’s hoping 2011 brings on the greatness we all so well deserve! And lets start the year off with a bang! 3 count them THREE of the movies that my dear friend gave me to watch and blog on. Whew, that’s a lot of typing so lets just get right to those check off lists shall we?

Moonstruck

• Giddy: Yes, the passion in this movie is okay…well… yes, a bit over the top but I love it! When Nick Cage throws the table across the room and grabs Cher passionately and kisses her… whoa! Then he picks her up, screaming “Son of a bitch” and carries her to the bedroom…mmmmm. Also when she goes to the Opera (which I’ve never been to and sniff… would love to go) and she looks so amazing! Do my giddy dance! Lalala!
• Lie: There really aren’t too many big lies, I mean, she plans on telling her fiancé she slept with her brother, and her father is cheating but her mother already knows.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh god, every ten minutes there’s one! My favorite is this little exchange: “I’m in love with you” smack “Snap out of it” or this one: “Why didn’t you wait for the right man” “Because he didn’t come” “I’m here” “Your Late” or this one “Old man you give those dogs another piece of my food and I’m gonna kick you till your dead”.
• Wedding: Nope, but there’s 2 engagements
• Dance Sequence: Does Cher kicking a can down the street count?
• Rewatchable: I’ve been watching this movie since I was a kid, and yes I will continue to do so.
• Love: Ah my favorite kind, Passionate!
• Fantasy: I used to fantasize about living in NY like they are…but now that I’m here (and really don’t love it anymore, but this is a topic I actually need to hit on, many many movies are based in NYC and they all romanticize this town, so that I think oh wow look how beautiful how hopeful it is, and in the last year and half I’ve found nothing of what I see in the movies in this town, granted it is pretty to look at, but it’s a city of desperation and hungry people striving to live as rich and as superficially as the top 1% do and all the money it bleeds from you and all the dreams it dashes, it sort of takes off that rom-com shine and make it dingy and sad), I guess the only thing I fantasize about anymore is to get a shred of the passion seen in this movie back into my life.
• Journey of the main character: Cher is resigned to a boring nice life until she meets Nick who sweeps her off her feet (literally) and awakens her a desire to be sexy and passionate again.
• Body Count: nada
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie…
• Strong Female: Cher has got to be one of the strongest women on and off screen out there. Granted she’s a bit more in the gay-con category then rom-com-icon but still… she’s fantastic! I wish I had her balls!

The Killers

• Giddy: Alright, alright, now some of you are really gonna hate me for this (my husband does, he hates all Ashton Kutcher and refuses to watch anything he does) but this whole movie makes me giddy! It’s exactly what I like to see: action, ridiculous side characters, and even though I can’t buy that Ashton is a spy let alone in love with Ms. Heigl, I still have his abs to look at! And that means a lot to us ladies over a certain age…mmmmm…. Muscles! And this movie had my heart by Ms. Heigl’s speech about her name: “Its Jen, Jennifer, sometimes Jenny, no… no it’s just Jen. Just Jen.”
• Lie: Oh dear lord EVERYONE is lying, all the neighbors, Ashton (badly granted)..Tom Selleck.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh yes, we have several!
• Wedding: They skip that (sniff)
• Dance Sequence: Sort of, when some jerk at a club thinks she’s a hooker.
• Rewatchable: Yes. I’m sorry to all you, you judging people, yes this is right up my alley!
• Love: He gives up the killing career for her and then goes out of his way to protect her… yeah that’s love. We also have the scary overprotective dad kind of love going on here too.
• Fantasy: I love the action sequences in this movie. They are great!
• Journey of the main character: She learns that her husband is a former professional killer and so is her dad and that she’s pregnant and she finds her own inner strength and ability to deal with a little spontaneity.
• Body Count: Too many to count, but I really love how almost every single person they think are their friends, neighbors and co-workers are out to kill them. Just goes to show you… you really DON’T need to know your neighbors that well.
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: I think I own a lot of the songs in this soundtrack.
• Strong Female: She becomes one.

She’s out of my league

• Giddy: Yes! This movie is adorable! Giddy all over with this lovely little film, more of a man-rom-com (like 40 Year Old Virgin) where the men are idiots and the women are on pedestals (vs. most female rom-coms where the women are quirky, cute and odd). But the side characters MAKE this movie, we have the lovable assholes (male and female) that just give this movie not only all the best lines like “No one wants to fuck a moodle” and “Oh the Hamburgler wasn’t in to me?” but the charm and sweetness from the other characters – ones like the sweet Nate Torrence who calls Jay’s lady love “Princess Jasmine” and he even helps his him shave his balls!
• Lie: Well there’s some attempted lies like when Jay tries to get back his bitchy ex girlfriend by saying he’d been on a “snatch parade” and Alice Eve is only dating him because he’s safe.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Yes we have that lovely big end, brought on by the lovable assholes to bring the kids together again.
• Wedding: nope (sigh)
• Dance Sequence: Well we do have the lovable assholes tribute band playing at a party and that’s… well close…
• Rewatchable: Yes, this movie is hysterical!
• Love: A hot girl with a dorky guy… it happens!
• Fantasy: For most guys I guess it would be having such a hot girl… for me… wishing I was that hot?
• Journey of the main character: Through love…you can have the confidence to follow your dreams… yeah… and with confidence you can get the hot girl
• Body Count: nada… sigh
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: I love this soundtrack! Everytime I hear Chelsea Dagger I want to jump around in joy!
• Strong Female: Um… maybe it’s my prejudice against pretty people, but I don’t think she’s very strong. But her best friend is kick ass and funny as hell soo…

Eat Pray Love

So, it begins again, another great gift of 24 mystery movies for me to talk about on this blog. And we start this gift package off with none other than Eat Pray Love. Sigh. My heart is a little sad having to talk about this movie. It’s all so complicated for me. The book, I read (as I think most women do and why we love it so fiercely) during a huge identity crisis time in my life and troubles in my marriage. It helped me in countless ways, mainly because here was a woman I completely identified with who was getting not only the luxury of wallowing in her emotional needs, getting to rediscover herself, rediscover her passion, but also do it in a way I can’t even fathom how I’d ever afford to: in 3 countries for a year. So she gets to live the life I want but I get to read the book and end with a calmer awareness of myself. And I love this book! I recommend it to every woman I know who is going through that crisis (which typically seems to be in the 30s). Now, when I heard the movie was going to be made, I thought: How? How can you show this in film? And then I heard Julia Roberts was attached to it and I sighed and said, ah you are not making this book into a movie, you are making a romantic movie that Julia can be in and your going to vaguely hit on points from the book. As they did.
Now lets talk about the heartbreak… I used to love Julia Roberts (I love all her rom coms- they make me smile down to my liver). But this past year (which has been a very hard struggle for me and it is my sincere hope that next year I get a little of my sparkle, hope and joy back, among other hopes of.. you know success and money and such), while working as the-lowest-of-low-on-the-totem-pole-of-films: an extra, I had many opportunities to sit around with fellow dirt-levels and we would talk about the stars we’ve been around. These conversations inevitably led to who was a jerk to work with(Walberg) and who was surprisingly sweet (Gandolfini). And time and again, I heard horror stories about what a bitch, what a diva, what a nightmare Julia Roberts was. I didn’t want to believe it, America’s Sweetheart? Surely she is nice, that’s how I can believe she is in all those movies. But no, I heard a story about how she so diminished a young actress playing a stewardess who messed up one line that the girl up and quit acting, it ruined her to be so humiliated by the wrath of Roberts on the set. Well, I must admit, this has affected my ability to watch her. I just have so little room in my heart for those who look down on others, those who can be so cruel.
So I went in to seeing Eat Pray love with those 2 very large marks against it: my once idol was a bitch and they aren’t going to be able to really make this book into a movie. And so this movie, which I should have wanted to love, I only walk away with a meh. Julia seemed cold to me. She has lines in the movie (because the character in the book is actually this way) that she says she’s a Suzy Cream Cheese, a happy talkative person and I don’t believe that for a moment from Julia. I don’t really see the complicated journey to loving herself and loving the whole world too in her. And she also talks about her “muffin top” and has an entire scene where they try and close jeans on her and um… seriously she has NEVER had a muffin top! Arg! So with all that said, lets check Eat Pray Love off of my list, shall we?
• Giddy: Well there are moments when they quote the book like: You select your thoughts like you select your clothes in the morning, and Look through your heart and not your head but the parts that usually get me giddy (the love scenes) don’t really do it for me here.
• Lie: This is a book/movie about facing your truth. So no.
• Big Emotional Outburst: We have a typical Roberts blow up scene on the beach of Bali. And of course there is the one at the very beginning of the movie… the one that scares the shit out of me quite frankly. The scene where she goes to pray about her unhappiness and decides she doesn’t want to be married anymore. I think I’m more re-living my own fears and bad moments then empathizing with Julia here though (but unlike Julia’s character, I came out of that situation realizing it was better to work on the love I have than throw it away and start over- but I still tear up every time I hear that line: The only thing more impossible than staying was leaving). Also… my god can we please praise once again an amazing performance from Richard Jenkins- his scene where he describes why he is at this ashram in India is heart wrenching!
• Wedding: Why yes there are 2! An Indian wedding (so beautiful despite the fact that its so sad) and flash backs of her own.
• Dance Sequence: In the flash backs of her own there is a lovely scene where Billy Crudup (another supposed jerk in real life) dances around Julia
• Rewatchable: I have to admit, this movie does the opposite for me of what is its intentions: to lift you up so… well yes when I’m feeling doomed (which is often lately).
• Love: This is supposed to be as I said before the learning to love yourself and then love others, but I had a hard time buying it from Julia. There is also the love with Javier Bardem, which is sweet and that perfect rom-com hate em first then love him. Honestly I must give the film credit here, I thought they’d skip right over Italy and India and focus mostly on the Javier affair but they did a good job of keeping them all balanced and showing us that love is not in one form – it is not just romantic but the love of friends, of strangers, of places and passions.
• Fantasy: A writer takes a year off of life and travels to 3 exotic places to discover herself. It’s my number 1 fantasy!
• Journey of the Main Character: Read the book, her journey is amazing!
• Body Count: none
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Its got some good songs
• Strong Female: Again… read the book.


Side note: It's driving me bonkers that I can't lay out this blog by title and that it only lays it out by date. If anyone knows how to change it so I can lay this blog out by title instead of date can you email me at jennremke@gmail.com ? Love to you all!

Assassin In Love

What a crazy year! But currently I have a job at home and from the miracle of Wii netflix I get to expand my rom-com watching. And recently, I got to see this sweet little film: Assassin in Love. And I just had to add it to my lil blog.

“Professional hit man Milo (Damian Lewis) flees the city after failing to carry out a contract, and gets mistaken for a baker while hiding out in the country. But just as Milo begins to embrace his leisurely new lifestyle and strike up a romance with local veterinarian Rhiannon (Kate Ashfield), his secret gets out, and the locals start asking for much more than specialty cakes”- says the netflix description.

Adorable film with great odd side characters! And of course, we have deaths! Now, granted, Milo is cute, but with those lips, I’m not quite convinced he’s straight (though my last production: Macbeth, the director had similar poofy lips and he turned out to be “straight” so who knows anymore) and I definitely don’t buy him as a cold blooded killer but never the less, he charms me anyway and this one will now be added to my ongoing list of films I can’t stop watching. And here is how it checks off my list:

• Giddy: Assassins gets me giddy all on its own! But we also have a hysterical and really odd love making scene with every ingredient in the kitchen.
• Lie: Milo is a trained assassin, hiding out in a small town pretending to be a baker.
• Big Emotional Outburst: This comes from a few of the side characters.
• Wedding: Yes at the end and it is beautiful!
• Dance Sequence: Non. However we have a group song, this should maybe go in my music category but it gave me the same thrill a group dance does.
• Rewatchable: So now that I am working from home (I’m uploading baby pictures and sending them to parents – which is one of the greatest jobs I’ve ever had, finally affording me the freedom to audition, and to watch in the background all the rom-coms I want, the only downsides being that I actually can’t seem to get that many auditions- damn this town is hard to break through to, and I’ve got a massive ticking clock and seeing cute babies all day long does not really help this) I’m really putting this category to the test. I saw this movie 3 times so far. There are so many great side characters, and that British wit creeps up on you.
• Love: As I said, I’m not sure I buy that this guy is straight (maybe I just don’t trust guys with blue eyes) but the sex is hot and I really feel that like me, Milo falls in love with this quirky town. Living in a city that I don’t love and dealing with the struggles of no longer having the comfort of a core group of people who “get you” and “love you anyway” (well that’s not exactly true, I have some wonderful friends here – its just they are very spread out in this big big city and the trials I face trying to live here and make it here overshadow these good people), I understand what its like to fall in love with a place, a town, loving it for its flaws, its beauty and all the people that inhabit it.
• Fantasy: This town! Oh these charming people!
• Journey of the Main Character: Milo moves to this small town to hide out but ends up wanting to stay and give up his evil ways of killing people quickly with guns an opt for the killing them slowly with baked goods. We’ve all been there right?
• Body Count: 3!! Not counting the Ram’s head!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Okay maybe some of these songs are a bit overdone, maybe we’ve all heard them before in a bunch of other rom-coms but I really love them. They make me happy!
• Strong Female: The Vet is a nice tough gal all on her own (or maybe its just her short hair- as all my girlfriends with short hair have proved- the shorter the hair, the tougher the gal- which really says a lot about me I guess- since… well mine is extremely long – but this is no surprise to you dear reader who know I only play tough on stage and am such a sap in real life).

So what a crazy year, I quit a job where my boss screamed, I got a great job that I quit for a dream of making kick ass money in fit modeling, got fired from fit modeling for not being “modely” enough, and fell into this current job where I upload baby pics, which doesn’t pay the bills enough so I have to do a lot of extra work on the movies and tv shows being shot around town (and extra work is by far the most brutal for us non union folks). I’ve only been in one play but it was a great role: Lady Macbeth! But art wise… I’m still on the losing end. I have no idea where I’m going, what is coming next, or how I’ll get through it, but I have to admit, just for now… especially after the horrible trials and tribulations of this past year, I’m pretty happy! I’m really quite blessed! I’ve got some great friends here, I’ve got a great job where I get to be at home watching the movies I’d rather be in but alas we can’t have it all, and my husband and I are stronger than ever! So my own little rom com, is having a good music montage moment right now. Happy Holidays and may this next year bring us all many great romantic moments, great success and dreams come true!

Overboard!

Overboard!
In honor of the return of the 80’s in fashion (seriously, I’m dizzy walking the streets of now – I had to actually call my friend and have him remind me which decade I’m in. It’s scary. And you know something- that is still ugly clothing this time around too!) I sat down and watched one of my all time favorites: Overboard! This is a classic! I love this movie on so many levels: it’s a loosely based adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew, it’s got all the good and bad of being rich vs poor and the great divide between the two, it’s a true warning that a woman is a slave in the household unless she is given respect and love, and its got all the great gooey chemistry between this hot Hollywood couple. Here is how the timeless (I used to think this movie was ugly and dirty but through the goggles of nostalgia and brain washing by the fashion industry that 80’s are cool I find it quite glamorous) Overboard checks off my list:

• Giddy: From the first twang of that terrible song during the credits, I’m in heaven! Goldie playing rich-bitch is so cute, then you have great moments like “Fuk her Fuk her” “I don’t think you can say that on television” “No, No, Fuk her means seal in my country” ; and the Katarina and Arturo story, the making love scene; the dirty boys (filthy in mind and in body); “Baby, if you have a baby, you won’t be the baby anymore” (something I am still trying to convince my parents of) and countless other moments
• Lie: Oh heck yeah! A big one! Let’s see here: He gets knocked off her yacht and left unpaid for building a cabinet made of oak so when she turns up in a mental hospital with no memory he fakes being married to her in order to get a SLAVE to cook, clean, and raise his children as payback. Written down it sounds so much more awful then on screen. (But seriously, the hospital considers it proof that they are married because he can describe a strawberry like birth mark on her ass, if its always that simple there are quite a few people who could claim being married to me…)
• Big Emotional Outburst: We have several, cause Goldie is friggin adorable when she’s angry! My favorite though (besides jumping in the water for each other at the end of the movie) is when she tells off that nasty judging teacher.
• Wedding: No but there are faked pictures of the wedding which are HILARIOUS!
• Dance Sequence: Yes Jim Dandy to the Rescue Jim Dandy to the Rescue! (Um Goldie- you look like your having an orgasm on the dance floor).
• Rewatchable: YES YES YES YES YES
• Love: I love this kind of love story! This is the backwards kind- start with work, family, obligations, start at hate and discover respect, admiration, and love.
• Fantasy: At the very end, they all discover that she’s the rich one. Rich enough for friggin servants and a yacht and evening gowns for no good reason at all! The one boy sums it up best “How do you spell Porsche?” This ranks right up there with my lottery fantasy.
• Journey of the Main Character: Oh I actually think Goldie does an amazing job with this character! Here she goes from being a rich-bitch snob who can not have any empathy for someone not rich like her to being battered around as a slave for a sweaty bohunk man to finding virtue in the smaller things in life (like teaching a child to read and cleaning a house) to once again fit back into the world she came from. It’s a really fascinating journey to watch.
• Body Count: Cest la vie: Non!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Ok this music sucks, but true to the 80’s there are lots of great montages. Especially in building the greatest thing Elk Snout has ever seen: A mini put put.
• Strong Female: Yes! Goldie! I love you!

Valentine's Day

I’ve always had a problem with Valentine’s Day. It is an excuse for the lazy to not be romantic all year long until one stinkin’ day. That said, just like my love for Romantic Comedies, I am completely irrational about it and still desire to get something nice on that holiday. So I sat down this weekend, newly inspired by the greatest proposal of all time (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3rlU8bGovU ) to watch Valentine’s Day. I hadn’t rushed out to see this one in the theatres because I am not enthusiastic about this trend in films where you have tons and tons of stars with short interwoven plots that occasionally collide. It feels a bit like ADD and I’m not sure who to give my heart and attention to. There are some great exceptions like Love Actually and He’s Just Not That In To You, but this really didn’t measure up. It actually felt like a knock off version of those two films. Maybe it is just that nothing could possibly put me as over the moon as that You Tube proposal, or maybe it is that Ashton Kutcher just looks like the dumbest puppy dog ever, or maybe it just wasn’t that great...
Maybe it would also help, if I stopped drinking an entire bottle of wine when I sit down to enjoy these movies... I might be able to follow more... just sayin. But we’re not here to talk about my flaws (wait...are we?!)...but here is how Valentine’s Day checked off my list of must have’s:

• Giddy: I’ve noticed a trend here that I’m extremely giddy in the beginning of a movie and as the movie unfolds, I tend to get less so. Quite like most of my past relationships. And like those past relationships, they might not have been good the first time around but nostalgia and a more complicated current reality make me long for the already tried-and-not-really-so-true. So the scenes that could have been heart pumping here might be so in a year but for tonight... not one thing compared to that proposal...
• Lie: There is McDreamy lying to his 2 women, and Jessica Alba lying that she wanted to marry Mr. Puppy dog but not really (and um the director who cast her in the role of powerful go getter woman is lying to himself if he thinks we’re buying Alba in that role) and there’s that guy that looks like he is related to Leonardo DiCaprio who has been lying about being gay... oh there’s lies- lots of em... too many to keep track of!
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh yes, again- in spades and hard to keep track of.
• Wedding: No, but I think if they had tried to squeeze in one more RC stereotype something would have had to explode!
• Dance Sequence: No
• Rewatchable: Ask me next year
• Love: Every kind there is
• Fantasy: I guess its seeing this many hot people. There are lots of hot people in this movie.
• Journey of the Main Character: Which ONE!?
• Body Count: No – and this – they could have used a bit of- so there would be less plots to keep track of!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Actually I liked a few songs on this soundtrack. I will most likely be downloading them soon...
• Strong Female: Um, I think there were a couple- Like Queen Latifah (but when isn’t she?) and Julia Roberts is a soldier... um but again, I didn’t get to have a full 2 hours to judge them, I got maybe 10 minutes of each character so... I can’t really say.