Letters to Juliet

Letters to Juliet
This movie should be one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, this movie’s plot should go down in history as the worst plot ever, and this movie should be on my list of ones to never watch again BUT… darn it all, I find it strangely pulling me in, maybe its my own insecurity in the choices I’ve made in my life and the hope that maybe I’d be able to redeem them one day or maybe its my pms, but I end up liking and being swept up into this ridiculous plot. I really didn’t want to like this film. It has a HORRIBLE plot (come on, anyone who has been to Italy or even read EAT, PRAY, LOVE knows that there is no way that a letter would go from Italy to England that quickly): A girl goes to Italy on what is supposed to be a pre-honeymoon and while her fiance neglects her she stumbles upon a wall where women write to Juliet and finds a group of women who write letters back as Juliet, she becomes one, sends a letter to a woman who wrote 50 years before, and the woman shows up and she journeys with her in search of her “one true love”! The society of Juliets? Really? Every detail about this plot is ridiculous. And then the jerk grandson comes in, teaching me that Brits aren’t all warm and fuzzy (seriously, their accent is so damn cute, I thought they were all super sweet and adorable). Despite myself, I kind of liked this movie. I’m as shocked as you are dear reader! Like I said, maybe it’s the pms. But…well lets just check it off shall we, maybe I’ll change my mind…

• Giddy: When Vanessa Redgrave finally meets her true love… yeah I’m a little giddy.
• Lie: um none really
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh dear lord, the end scene where Amanda is on a balcony and the angry brit (whom I never warmed up to) pathetically tried to climb up to her… oh I feel embarrassed for those actors but we do have the big emotional outburst…ug, HOWEVER lets give him credit for saying the only true line in the movie: New York is overated.
• Wedding: Yes actually! And its beautiful! I want one just like it
• Dance Sequence: nope
• Rewatchable: um…well…its gonna be at the bottom of the pile, I’m gonna have to be a bit desperate
• Love: Well first she’s with a guy who is more passionate about his work and food than her (that sounds familiar to me… a little TOO familiar and he never even reads her writing or shows any real interest in her own passion… also way too familiar…my husbands doesn’t read this blog…) and then she falls for a guy who… I guess loves her (after he’s done hating her- and I’m not sure when that switch actually happened)…
• Fantasy: Besides this horrible plot? Well… there’s Italy and my god, if your gonna give me a bad bad plot and bad actors at least give me something pretty to look at… and you did: Italy!
• Journey of the main character: Um… I think there is supposed to be one in there, I just had a hard time seeing it. She journeys through Italy though! That’s something!
• Body Count: none…we could have used some here!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: typical Italian music during pretty drives through Italy
• Strong Female: Um no… you really can’t call this woman strong at all. Perhaps Ms. Redgrave makes up for it?

Just Wright

Just Wright
So, once upon a time, in my pathetic lil brain, I couldn’t understand that there really were women that were cold hearted Gold-diggers. I mean, I had always chalked it up to nasty labels like “psycho” that ex-boyfriends used to sum up women. But that obviously (just like Psycho- which usually means the men did something wrong and the woman lashed out and god forbid dumped the men and then the guys go around saying that she’s just Psycho) there must be a deeper story there. However with age (and my god, I’m getting old), and experience, I’ve come to understand that just like there CAN be pure evil out there in the world (Dick Cheney) there does exist these women, looking for men to just “take care of them”(also proven true: a dear friend of mine who recently got dumped from a true “psyco”). I discovered the majority of them live here in NYC and in LA. It’s sad. Really sad. And this movie, is one of those wonderful fantasies of good triumphing over the gold digger! And not just good, Queen Latifah good! I think Queen Latifah is my new Goddess of Rom Coms, because I want her to win so badly, I’m on her side from the moment she enters the screen and she always exudes beauty, confidence, with just enough of vulnerability. If only her male lead could act. Sigh. Well, he’s pretty to look at. So, lets get to it:

• Giddy: Jersey Represent!
• Lie: The GOLD DIGGER! AAAAH!
• Big Emotional Outburst: “Common” doesn’t have the chops to pull it off and the scene lies flat
• Wedding: nope – um… dear friend who got me started on this by giving me all these movies to watch… we’re not off to a good start this year! Where are the pretty white dresses?!?!?!?!?!?!
• Dance Sequence: Once again we have some dancing of one – the kind we all do in the bed, you know after we’ve been laid properly?
• Rewatchable: Yes indeed
• Love: Aw that sweet, I’d never notice the fat chick, not when hottie gold digger is around but oh wait, when hottie leaves, the fat chick actually has a soul and I find that so much more appealing.
• Fantasy: That good ol’ fat chicks like me could triumph over skinny hot gold diggers! My god I really love this fantasy! Reality is, even if he did end up with the Queen, she’ll spend her whole life insecure and paranoid that he’s cheating or going to leave her because she’s not as hot as her cousin!
• Journey of the main character: see the Love bullet.
• Body Count: none! And we really could have used one! I really feel that the gold digger should have died!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: okay, um the bombom music during the making love scene is a bit over the top but the songs are okay.
• Strong Female: The Queen! Bow down to the Queen!

The Bounty Hunter

Bounty Hunter
So I just recently read a small yahoo blurb where they reported on Hugh Jackman “slamming” Jennifer Aniston because she makes crap movies and still gets to be considered Hollywood elite. And well, this one probably is one of the movies he’s talking about. But for my taste, I kind of like the movie. I like it the best so far of all her Rom Coms and it’s a cute lil flick. I don’t know if that means she deserves her huge paycheck but I would rather wonder why CEOs and the producers and hell Wallstreet deserve their big paychecks more than wonder why an actor does. As I am an actor who has never received paychecks for my acting, I kind like to at least be “pro-check” in case my luck ever does change…

• Giddy: Oh we start off with her breaking out of the trunk of a car, yes we have giddy moments all over. There is a palpable chemistry between Gerard and Jennifer (well, I think all us gals would have chemistry with Gerard, he’s yummy in a thug way). I actually like this tougher side of Jennifer too, like stealing the kids bike after he asked to see her boobs and she screams over her shoulder show me your penis! But her stripper mother(Christine Baranski) is fantastic!
• Lie: There’s a lovely mystery that has to unravel that keeps things moving along smoothly 
• Big Emotional Outburst: Yes, yes there are some big ones
• Wedding: nope
• Dance Sequence: No, except in my living room, while watching this movie…there are a few songs, I just can’t help it, the butt starts jigglin…
• Rewatchable: Yes, it’s adorable, I don’t care what Hugh Jackman thinks!
• Love: My favorite kind! Hate/Love! Yay! As some wise person once said (and I think I ignored them then as much as now): The worst thing is Apathy, Hate and Love can always lead to one another, but apathy can lead nowhere.
• Fantasy: To think that this relationship is really going to work a second time around? That’s a big Fantasy!
• Journey of the main character: Gerard goes to get his revenge for a broken heart by taking his exwife to jail but gets caught up in the mystery that needs to be solved and falls back in love with her.
• Body Count: I don’t think there are any but there is a lot of people getting really hurt, so… that counts as a plus in my book!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: “It’s tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that’s right on time, its tricky”, butt jiggling good tunes! YAY!
• Strong Female: Yes, Jennifer, you did well. Some people tell me (when I bother to actually try and look nice with make up on and such) that I resemble you and most of the time that irritates me but today… It makes me PROUD!

The Holiday

Holiday
So this isn’t a great movie, it might have been better with some different casting choices (I’m not sure I can believe Ms. Diaz as an all work no play kind of gal and Jack Black?! Really?!What is it with Hollywood and being fine with men being ugly or dumpy as long their funny but no way no how can that be the case with women) or perhaps even split up the two stories into two different movies but… well it’s got some good points (Jude Law and Kate Winslet) so… away we go:

• Giddy: Really, the pickings are a bit slim here but Jude Law pretty much anytime gets me giddy.
• Lie: There aren’t any major ones going on, nope.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Well of course we got 2 ladies heartbroken and taking off to different countries to break away from it so there are outburst to be had, but the one I believe usually comes at the end of the movie, the big emotional “I love you” didn’t really go down that path.
• Wedding: nope
• Dance Sequence: We have several! We have both of the girls doing their own little dances (I dance that goofy too all the time alone) and we have a finale dance with the loves and kids.
• Rewatchable: meh
• Love: We have all kinds, the unrequited, the unemotional, the unavailable, the “we’re just friends but you might be good for me”, and the “I refuse to fall in love with you but can’t help myself”
• Fantasy: I’d love to jet off to England after a heart break, I’d love to have half as much money as Ms. Diaz has in this movie.
• Journey of the main character: Each girl goes off to get away from heartbreak and discovers all new love. But my favorite line in the movie sums it up for us all: Your Leading Lady material, why are you behaving like the best friend”
• Body Count: nada damn!
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Holiday songs are always a hit (until you’re listening to them for the millionth time because the damn radio started playing them Nov. 1st) But I do love Jack Blacks line to Kate when he says “If you were a melody this is what you’d be” he plays a sweet sad melody and then says “I used only the good notes”.
• Strong Female: Well I think if we had seen this done as intended by the writers, we would have seen one woman (Ms. Diaz) who is seemingly strong and got it all, money, career, nice house but learns to let it down a little and warm up to love and the other (Ms. Winslet) who is run over by every person because she allows them to, learns to stand up for herself and demand the treatment and love she deserves. But… alas… we don’t really see that.

Say Anything

Say Anything

Ah, yes, the classic! I haven’t seen this movie in a long time, and I think age has improved this movie. Everyone is so much cuter, their dialogue so much more adolescent and adorable. Well…the only downside is that well… Ione Sky is really not a great actress, sigh.
So lets get right to it shall we?

• Giddy: Kissing in the rain, having sex in the backseat of the car (hey it’s how I was conceived), the 65 Joe songs, THE BOOMBOX (seriously who can not be giddy during that scene?!), “I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen”
• Lie: The Dad’s been stealing from the old people (bad Daddy, bad!)
• Big Emotional Outburst: Does the boombox count? It does to me!
• Wedding: Um no
• Dance Sequence: Not really, breaking pure 80s tradition, there is a wild party with an over the top Piven that might count?
• Rewatchable: Um YES!
• Love: I actually think this relationship won’t work in long term but first love, ah first love! So very sweet!
• Fantasy: I think we all fantasize about being loved that hard, that passionately.
• Journey of the main character: Well Ms. Sky really doesn’t do a great job of it, but it’s the journey of a girl who has worked so hard and finally getting to enjoy herself a little.
• Body Count: Um none
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Isn’t this one of the greatest? In your eyes! I get weak in my knees!
• Strong Female: ‘Diane Court’ starts out strong, extra credit classes, working jobs, volunteering, a real go-getter, but everything is to please her Dad and once her Dad comes off the pedestal she links herself with ‘Lloyde Dobler’ as her new crutch. I foresee a long future of going from man to man until someday in her late 30s she wakes up and realizes it should be about herself and not the men in her life…

Moonstruck, Killers, She's out of my League

Happy New Year! So, I’ve watched a ton of movies as we dragged ourselves into this new year (needing to escape is um… at its highest). My god, lets really hope this next year brings us all so much more happiness and so much more success than this past year. For me and many of my dear friends 2010 was extremely rough. I didn’t get anywhere near my resolution to be in a romantic comedy instead of just watching them. Ah well, here’s hoping 2011 brings on the greatness we all so well deserve! And lets start the year off with a bang! 3 count them THREE of the movies that my dear friend gave me to watch and blog on. Whew, that’s a lot of typing so lets just get right to those check off lists shall we?

Moonstruck

• Giddy: Yes, the passion in this movie is okay…well… yes, a bit over the top but I love it! When Nick Cage throws the table across the room and grabs Cher passionately and kisses her… whoa! Then he picks her up, screaming “Son of a bitch” and carries her to the bedroom…mmmmm. Also when she goes to the Opera (which I’ve never been to and sniff… would love to go) and she looks so amazing! Do my giddy dance! Lalala!
• Lie: There really aren’t too many big lies, I mean, she plans on telling her fiancé she slept with her brother, and her father is cheating but her mother already knows.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh god, every ten minutes there’s one! My favorite is this little exchange: “I’m in love with you” smack “Snap out of it” or this one: “Why didn’t you wait for the right man” “Because he didn’t come” “I’m here” “Your Late” or this one “Old man you give those dogs another piece of my food and I’m gonna kick you till your dead”.
• Wedding: Nope, but there’s 2 engagements
• Dance Sequence: Does Cher kicking a can down the street count?
• Rewatchable: I’ve been watching this movie since I was a kid, and yes I will continue to do so.
• Love: Ah my favorite kind, Passionate!
• Fantasy: I used to fantasize about living in NY like they are…but now that I’m here (and really don’t love it anymore, but this is a topic I actually need to hit on, many many movies are based in NYC and they all romanticize this town, so that I think oh wow look how beautiful how hopeful it is, and in the last year and half I’ve found nothing of what I see in the movies in this town, granted it is pretty to look at, but it’s a city of desperation and hungry people striving to live as rich and as superficially as the top 1% do and all the money it bleeds from you and all the dreams it dashes, it sort of takes off that rom-com shine and make it dingy and sad), I guess the only thing I fantasize about anymore is to get a shred of the passion seen in this movie back into my life.
• Journey of the main character: Cher is resigned to a boring nice life until she meets Nick who sweeps her off her feet (literally) and awakens her a desire to be sexy and passionate again.
• Body Count: nada
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie…
• Strong Female: Cher has got to be one of the strongest women on and off screen out there. Granted she’s a bit more in the gay-con category then rom-com-icon but still… she’s fantastic! I wish I had her balls!

The Killers

• Giddy: Alright, alright, now some of you are really gonna hate me for this (my husband does, he hates all Ashton Kutcher and refuses to watch anything he does) but this whole movie makes me giddy! It’s exactly what I like to see: action, ridiculous side characters, and even though I can’t buy that Ashton is a spy let alone in love with Ms. Heigl, I still have his abs to look at! And that means a lot to us ladies over a certain age…mmmmm…. Muscles! And this movie had my heart by Ms. Heigl’s speech about her name: “Its Jen, Jennifer, sometimes Jenny, no… no it’s just Jen. Just Jen.”
• Lie: Oh dear lord EVERYONE is lying, all the neighbors, Ashton (badly granted)..Tom Selleck.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Oh yes, we have several!
• Wedding: They skip that (sniff)
• Dance Sequence: Sort of, when some jerk at a club thinks she’s a hooker.
• Rewatchable: Yes. I’m sorry to all you, you judging people, yes this is right up my alley!
• Love: He gives up the killing career for her and then goes out of his way to protect her… yeah that’s love. We also have the scary overprotective dad kind of love going on here too.
• Fantasy: I love the action sequences in this movie. They are great!
• Journey of the main character: She learns that her husband is a former professional killer and so is her dad and that she’s pregnant and she finds her own inner strength and ability to deal with a little spontaneity.
• Body Count: Too many to count, but I really love how almost every single person they think are their friends, neighbors and co-workers are out to kill them. Just goes to show you… you really DON’T need to know your neighbors that well.
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: I think I own a lot of the songs in this soundtrack.
• Strong Female: She becomes one.

She’s out of my league

• Giddy: Yes! This movie is adorable! Giddy all over with this lovely little film, more of a man-rom-com (like 40 Year Old Virgin) where the men are idiots and the women are on pedestals (vs. most female rom-coms where the women are quirky, cute and odd). But the side characters MAKE this movie, we have the lovable assholes (male and female) that just give this movie not only all the best lines like “No one wants to fuck a moodle” and “Oh the Hamburgler wasn’t in to me?” but the charm and sweetness from the other characters – ones like the sweet Nate Torrence who calls Jay’s lady love “Princess Jasmine” and he even helps his him shave his balls!
• Lie: Well there’s some attempted lies like when Jay tries to get back his bitchy ex girlfriend by saying he’d been on a “snatch parade” and Alice Eve is only dating him because he’s safe.
• Big Emotional Outburst: Yes we have that lovely big end, brought on by the lovable assholes to bring the kids together again.
• Wedding: nope (sigh)
• Dance Sequence: Well we do have the lovable assholes tribute band playing at a party and that’s… well close…
• Rewatchable: Yes, this movie is hysterical!
• Love: A hot girl with a dorky guy… it happens!
• Fantasy: For most guys I guess it would be having such a hot girl… for me… wishing I was that hot?
• Journey of the main character: Through love…you can have the confidence to follow your dreams… yeah… and with confidence you can get the hot girl
• Body Count: nada… sigh
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: I love this soundtrack! Everytime I hear Chelsea Dagger I want to jump around in joy!
• Strong Female: Um… maybe it’s my prejudice against pretty people, but I don’t think she’s very strong. But her best friend is kick ass and funny as hell soo…

Eat Pray Love

So, it begins again, another great gift of 24 mystery movies for me to talk about on this blog. And we start this gift package off with none other than Eat Pray Love. Sigh. My heart is a little sad having to talk about this movie. It’s all so complicated for me. The book, I read (as I think most women do and why we love it so fiercely) during a huge identity crisis time in my life and troubles in my marriage. It helped me in countless ways, mainly because here was a woman I completely identified with who was getting not only the luxury of wallowing in her emotional needs, getting to rediscover herself, rediscover her passion, but also do it in a way I can’t even fathom how I’d ever afford to: in 3 countries for a year. So she gets to live the life I want but I get to read the book and end with a calmer awareness of myself. And I love this book! I recommend it to every woman I know who is going through that crisis (which typically seems to be in the 30s). Now, when I heard the movie was going to be made, I thought: How? How can you show this in film? And then I heard Julia Roberts was attached to it and I sighed and said, ah you are not making this book into a movie, you are making a romantic movie that Julia can be in and your going to vaguely hit on points from the book. As they did.
Now lets talk about the heartbreak… I used to love Julia Roberts (I love all her rom coms- they make me smile down to my liver). But this past year (which has been a very hard struggle for me and it is my sincere hope that next year I get a little of my sparkle, hope and joy back, among other hopes of.. you know success and money and such), while working as the-lowest-of-low-on-the-totem-pole-of-films: an extra, I had many opportunities to sit around with fellow dirt-levels and we would talk about the stars we’ve been around. These conversations inevitably led to who was a jerk to work with(Walberg) and who was surprisingly sweet (Gandolfini). And time and again, I heard horror stories about what a bitch, what a diva, what a nightmare Julia Roberts was. I didn’t want to believe it, America’s Sweetheart? Surely she is nice, that’s how I can believe she is in all those movies. But no, I heard a story about how she so diminished a young actress playing a stewardess who messed up one line that the girl up and quit acting, it ruined her to be so humiliated by the wrath of Roberts on the set. Well, I must admit, this has affected my ability to watch her. I just have so little room in my heart for those who look down on others, those who can be so cruel.
So I went in to seeing Eat Pray love with those 2 very large marks against it: my once idol was a bitch and they aren’t going to be able to really make this book into a movie. And so this movie, which I should have wanted to love, I only walk away with a meh. Julia seemed cold to me. She has lines in the movie (because the character in the book is actually this way) that she says she’s a Suzy Cream Cheese, a happy talkative person and I don’t believe that for a moment from Julia. I don’t really see the complicated journey to loving herself and loving the whole world too in her. And she also talks about her “muffin top” and has an entire scene where they try and close jeans on her and um… seriously she has NEVER had a muffin top! Arg! So with all that said, lets check Eat Pray Love off of my list, shall we?
• Giddy: Well there are moments when they quote the book like: You select your thoughts like you select your clothes in the morning, and Look through your heart and not your head but the parts that usually get me giddy (the love scenes) don’t really do it for me here.
• Lie: This is a book/movie about facing your truth. So no.
• Big Emotional Outburst: We have a typical Roberts blow up scene on the beach of Bali. And of course there is the one at the very beginning of the movie… the one that scares the shit out of me quite frankly. The scene where she goes to pray about her unhappiness and decides she doesn’t want to be married anymore. I think I’m more re-living my own fears and bad moments then empathizing with Julia here though (but unlike Julia’s character, I came out of that situation realizing it was better to work on the love I have than throw it away and start over- but I still tear up every time I hear that line: The only thing more impossible than staying was leaving). Also… my god can we please praise once again an amazing performance from Richard Jenkins- his scene where he describes why he is at this ashram in India is heart wrenching!
• Wedding: Why yes there are 2! An Indian wedding (so beautiful despite the fact that its so sad) and flash backs of her own.
• Dance Sequence: In the flash backs of her own there is a lovely scene where Billy Crudup (another supposed jerk in real life) dances around Julia
• Rewatchable: I have to admit, this movie does the opposite for me of what is its intentions: to lift you up so… well yes when I’m feeling doomed (which is often lately).
• Love: This is supposed to be as I said before the learning to love yourself and then love others, but I had a hard time buying it from Julia. There is also the love with Javier Bardem, which is sweet and that perfect rom-com hate em first then love him. Honestly I must give the film credit here, I thought they’d skip right over Italy and India and focus mostly on the Javier affair but they did a good job of keeping them all balanced and showing us that love is not in one form – it is not just romantic but the love of friends, of strangers, of places and passions.
• Fantasy: A writer takes a year off of life and travels to 3 exotic places to discover herself. It’s my number 1 fantasy!
• Journey of the Main Character: Read the book, her journey is amazing!
• Body Count: none
• Music Montages/Soundtrack: Its got some good songs
• Strong Female: Again… read the book.


Side note: It's driving me bonkers that I can't lay out this blog by title and that it only lays it out by date. If anyone knows how to change it so I can lay this blog out by title instead of date can you email me at jennremke@gmail.com ? Love to you all!